As I have stated in my previous posts about my journey to South Korea, booking that one way ticket to Seoul was a shocking moment for me. I was replaying the moments in my head when I was getting rid of anything that wouldn't fit into my suitcase. This was it, I was essentially starting over again. Taking my life that had been condensed into 2 suitcases and coming to a country that I knew very little about.
When I first got to Korea, I came before the holidays and kinda knew it was a mistake. I had the option of waiting to come till after the holidays because of the type of school I work in called a hagwon (I will talk about this in a later post). My first week here was rough and I had never felt loneliness to that degree in my life. I kept seeing Instagram posts from back home as Thanksgiving was right around the corner by time I arrived here. I had a few early mornings (mostly due to jetlag). Where I wallowed in my own misery because making friends in a new country is hard. And I don't have the social network at my school like others I knew. My school is so small with only 3 employees, whereas other schools have 4 or 5 Korean teachers in addition to 5 or more foreign teachers. I met people here and there, but everyone else seemed to have their social networks established. Being the newcomer made it hard to mesh myself into all of that. Although, I did get lucky because before I came here, my recruiter set up group chats with American teachers who were already in Korea. This was to ease my anxiety of having to make new connections abroad. Luckily, the weekend that I came here, a girl whom I'd been talking to before I arrived offered to show me Seoul my first week. I obviously accepted her offer and now she's my closest friend in Korea.
Now, I had made one solid friend for my time in Korea. Everyone else I met along the way from other teaching programs just came and went. I met people sporadically without knowing if I'd ever see them again. We added each other on social media, but that was the extent of it. For me, this was harder to deal with because when you're in school, you see people almost everyday. Working on the cruise ship, I was surrounded by my friends 24/7 so there wasn't time to feel lonely. One night, I went to a group dinner with other expats in my neighborhood. Since I don't have any coworkers close to my age, they suggested I'd download apps to meet people. I can't lie, the thought of meeting someone through an app was so terrifying for me. Talking to them over text for a couple of weeks, then meeting with them and hoping that everything would go well. I've never been good at putting myself out there in that sense. Although, I did move across the world by myself, and Asia is pretty far out of my comfort zone. So, who says I can't do it again and take a chance on these apps?
Long story short, I downloaded the Bumble app after some acquaintances recommended it. I went on the app and discovered that it has a really cool feature called, "Bumble BFF". It set my location and it has allowed me to met so many other expats in my city or even in Seoul. Initially, it felt like a dead end because I guess people forget to check the app. Sometimes the responses would be sparse and I'd give up. Mostly, I got lucky with some really cool people where'd we exchange our Kakao (Korean version of Whatsapp) and Instagram usernames. These are the people that I'd usually end up meeting up with. What I also love about the app is that I'm able to meet up with the locals too. Since they know all the hidden gems in the city.
If you plan on going abroad for solo travel or are moving for employment, I hope this post helps. Bumble is certainly not the only way to meet people. Apps such as Tinder and Meetup are also useful for some people, but not particularly for me. I personally had the most success with Bumble and still do. I was totally against these apps before I started using them, because I like meeting people the "old fashion" way. Though, it has truly made all the difference in my experience with living abroad. What I do want to end with is this. Loneliness will always be a part of life no matter where you go, home or abroad. I think it's very important to learn to be content with being by yourself, and doing things by yourself. Solitude is such an important thing to in master in a way. Especially in your 20's, and the age of social media.
Thank you for reading, stay tuned for more of my adventures living abroad :)
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