I know exactly what you're thinking from the title, many people think that working on a cruise ship sounds like a dream. But, let me be the first to tell you, quoting every single trainer I had, "You are not on a vacation". And I guess, this is where my story begins...
Up until this point, I thought I was doing everything somewhat right in my life? I did what society expected of me, went to college and earned my B.A. in 2018. I was weeks away from walking across stage in the overpriced cap and gown with thousands in debt to match. I was running out of options quickly and soon to be fending for myself. One day after class, I was browsing the internet for possible job opportunities in customer-service. At least something to hold me over till I got my shit together. Indeed suggested something that advertised, "SAVE UP TO $10,000 DOLLARS IN 4 MONTHS!!" in all capital letters. It was a ridiculously good tactic to suck someone in, but I wasn't buying it. Unfortunately, beggars can't be choosers and post-grad life was creeping up on me. I interviewed and got the job because they hire anyone... desperation of crappy companies I guess? For awhile I actually put going to training on hold (by "awhile" I mean the entire summer). I made up so many excuses for why I couldn't come yet. But one day in July, while I'm relaxing on a beautiful beach in Southern California, I felt the crippling anxiety of what awaited me when I got back from vacation. So, I gave in and traded my soul in for khakis and a blue polo shirt.
August 2018, I am officially living on a floating vessel hundreds of miles from home. I got off the plane, was handed my uniform, and put to work immediately. I had no experience and exactly 1 dinner shift to figure it out. I remember my manager taunting me the first night, "Sink or swim," that quote will forever haunt me. So after that tidbit, I spent 4 months, 7 days a week, working 12+ hours a day, sleep deprivation to the highest degree, and several breakdowns later. I made it somehow, even though I watched at least 5 people jump ship (quit) each week. It was like a game of survivor.
"Sink or swim"
I came home for maybe a month after the first contract and SWORE up and down that I'd never return back to ship life . Then the unemployment cycle started and again I became desperate. This time however, my desperation led me to the crystal clear waters of Hawaii. Long story short I took a one way ticket to Maui, walked on that vessel, and realized, "Fuck, what did I get myself into?" I mean, given, I knew exactly what I got myself into, but the transition from land life back to ship life is a shock to the system. I had to keep telling myself that there was an actual end goal this time. To make money so that I could spend the next year or so traveling. You need to have an end goal with a job like this because the mental and emotional strain can consume you quickly. Might I add, there are very few people willing to do this job. Many of the foreign workers I talked to said this was their way out of poverty, very understandable. On the other hand, for the rest of us, everyone I knew, was just running away from something. I met people from all walks of life escaping toxic relationships, family issues, or debt.
The only thing keeping my spirits up through this five month contract was living in Hawaii, a place that most people only dream of going to. My starting position was quite low because of the weird and rigid requirements for being a waiter. I rotted working the crew areas for about two months which felt like an eternity. Those were some trying times when my mediocre paychecks and motivation were quickly dissolving. Those feelings only disappearing the times I was able to see sunlight and get that vitamin D. The next 5 months of my life were pretty tumultuous. If I could describe it, the air was a mixture of high school level drama with college dorm style living. So, that made room for an incredibly toxic environment. Essentially my entire contract turned into one giant mind game, because coworkers and situations really test you on there. I experienced so many ups and downs, but the best feeling ever was walking off the gangway, and leaving that ship forever.
(Excerpt from my journal)
"Okay hi, I am officially back on the East coast after a 15+ hour travel day. Honestly, I thought I'd be so happy and relieved to be back. I've only been away for 24 hours and I somehow already want to go back. In my mind, I already saw this coming, because you always miss ship life in some weird, twisted way. But I've had to kill those thoughts because being stuck in groundhog day was so draining. Though when you come back home it's almost as if you feel you don't belong. It's great seeing family and friends, because you get that nice separation. Though, when you come home, it almost feels as if you threw away your whole life for a temporary one. One that gave you this indescribable amount of freedom, an out of sight out of mind feeling if you will. Something that allowed you to escape all of the BS of the real world."
Working over 90 hours of week below deck was the most strenuous thing I have ever done. Like everything in life though, there is a silver lining. Working on a ship is was an absolutely wild experience from leaving home to wherever the high seas took me, going back to a job that I swore was a one time thing, and meeting the most incredibly good and bad people. So many things happened in five months to the point where I couldn't comprehend it all till I left (mostly because of my emotions and thought process being so repressed.. yikes). Ship life taught me many things like taking yourself out of your comfort zone, and forcing yourself into really challenging situations. Testing your own physical and mental limits. I walked away from that ship with thousands of dollars and experiences that staying put in my hometown would've otherwise never given me.
Comments